Weeks ago, actually six weeks ago now, I signed up for boot camp at a cross fit type gym. I had decided to take control of my physical self as it was out of control. At the end of five weeks I was weighed and measured and lo and behold, there is less of me. While there is less of me physically, there is more of me mentally and spiritually.
I have begun to conquer fears and become more aware of my negative thinking. One way I have done this to exert myself by putting forth effort to do things when I am convinced I will fail or in some cases, literally fall. I have fallen, but I got up and kept trying or did a modification. I am learning to do pull ups, and every time we do dead lifts I lift more than the time before. My energy level is up and the endorphin high is unbelievable.
I realize in a new and heightened way how all of me is tied together into one person. My spiritual life is better since tiredness is not an excuse and I am more alert. I am making better use of my time since I have added “gym class” (as my husband calls it) to my daily routine. I am more focused. And for one hour, Monday through Friday, I give up control and do the workout.
Giving up control is probably the biggest challenge I face in my life. I like control. I like telling people what to do and how to do it. In class now, by letting go of control I have also let go of the fear of looking bad. So what if I fail? Now, I look and think, it is not failure, it is trying. Effort counts. I often tell people that the spiritual life is about progress, not perfection. And I am reminded of this every day I go to class.
Exercising my body has given me a new hope and outlook in all that I do. I believe much more strongly in the possibilities. I have become stronger mentally, spiritually and physically.
And yes, I am still going.
Copyright 2013 Deanna Bartalini