Learning to let go


I remember many, many years ago being a new mom.  I loved being a mom and our babies were very easy.  In fact, the family joke is that our first child was almost perfect, our second was perfect, and we were afraid what the third would be like.

It’s a joke, of course, but based in the truth of easy babies.  When number one hit three I wasn’t sure we’d both make it to four, but we did.  And time moved forward, quickly and for the most part trouble free.


Now my children are adults and many days I would trade the experience for parenting adult children for a pair of three-year-olds in a heartbeat.  It’s not that they are difficult now, but that the decisions are so truly life decisions that have long term-effects on, well, their lives!

They are faced with decisions their dad and I have to make.  Do I take this job or that?  Move to a new city or stay put?  Go back to school or hope I find a good job in a not so great market?

It is humbling to see what you’ve taught your children about how to make life decisions.  Our hope is that they take the best skills from each parent, mix in what they’ve learned on their own, and you get to bask the glow of a job well done.  Some days yes; others, not so much.

Our son shares many of my personality traits and recently he has decided to make some major life changes. I have spent weeks praying for him hoping that he would go slowly and make a few less changes at once.  But he is my son and so the bullet train is leaving the station any day now.

I am reminded yet again that my word for this year is TRUST.  The decisions were not made without forethought and consultation of trustworthy individuals.  I have thought that if I were in his situation, I’d do the same thing.

It means letting go again, some more, so he can follow his dream.  It means remembering that God is with him and that while my son may not physically be near me, I am still his “momma” and will keep him close in prayer.

Copyright 2014, Deanna Bartalini


About Author

Deanna G. Bartalini, is a Catholic writer, speaker, and educator. She and her husband Deacon John have two married children and a grandson. Deanna loves teaching about Catholicism and how it fits into our daily lives. She writes at DeannaBartalini.com, serves as the editor of the NewEvangelizers.com blog, and is a contributor there as well as at AmazingCatechists.com. Deanna contributed to A Catholic Mom's Prayer Companion published by Ave Maris Press. She has written “Invite the Holy Spirit into Your Life: Growing in Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control” one book in the series of the Stay Connected Journals for Catholic Women published by Our Sunday Visitor. Deanna is available to lead retreats and speak at catechist and ministry events.

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