On February 22, my 13-year-old son Andrew injured his pinky finger lifting weights at home. On March 25, more than a month later, I finally decided to take him to a specialist.
Boy, did I get in big trouble! His doctor scolded me for waiting so long and gave me a long lecture about the growth plates in kids’ hands and how we were very lucky it didn’t slip out of place. He was REALLY mean to me! He practically accused me of child neglect. And he put Andrew in a three-finger cast up to his elbow, which I suspect was not necessary but he wanted to make a point.
He clearly thought I was a Very Bad Mom.
Apparently he doesn’t know this is the same mom who doesn’t let her kids on Instagram because it “isn’t safe” and the same mom who won’t let her children eat Pop Tarts because they’re full of chemicals. And this is the same mom who took the same child to a different doctor a week before in a panic because she suspected he had cellulitis. Turned out to be nothing.
So I made a bad call. It happens. I’m not a doctor. Or an FBI agent. Or a therapist. I may miss a few things. Correction – I WILL miss a few things. And you will, too.
But that doesn’t make us Very Bad Moms. It makes us human. We make the best decision we can, based on the information we have at the moment.
This happens all the time in my business, too. I make a decision and later realize it wasn’t a smart move. Nobody’s there to yell at me and tell me how stupid I’ve been, but I have that conversation in my head all by myself.
So I can choose to beat myself up and consider myself a Very Bad Business Person. Or I can choose to learn from the mistake, ask the Holy Spirit for direction, move on and focus on the things that I’m doing right.
I can concentrate on the good decisions I’ve made, the people I serve and the blessings that have come from my business. I can fill myself with gratitude. And I can get back to work and continue making imperfect progress.
I’m not sure if you’re feeling like a Very Bad Mom right now, but if you are, then please know that I’m on your side. I believe in you and I think you’re doing an AMAZING job! And God sees inside your heart so he knows your intentions. So please don’t let other people tell you that you’re not doing a good enough job. (Even if they wear a white coat and have a bunch of initials after their name).
Give yourself a break and join me in doing this “mom thing” imperfectly. In fact, I’d love to hear about some of your Very Bad Mom moments – please share one here so we can encourage each other!
Copyright 2014, Theresa Ceniccola