Accidental Marriage Book Club: Chapters 1-2

12

Welcome to the Accidental Marriage Book Club! We’re reading Accidental Marriage, by Roger Thomas.

Accidental Marriage Book Club 720x340

This is certainly an interesting introduction to two characters I couldn’t help but like right away. They felt immediately likeable to me, though also very strange.

In these first two chapters, we get a sense of friendship that transcends lifestyle. To me, it spoke of the need that we all have for friends who are unconditional. But it also seemed to demonstrate how men and women think and value things differently.

There were three main points in these two chapters that really struck me. The first was Megan’s comment about every woman wanting a baby, and Scott’s subsequent mental reaction to it.

It made me think about the fact that, before I actually held my first baby, I wouldn’t have ever said I actually wanted a baby. However, having just had my fourth, I relate to Megan’s comment: I did want this baby, in part because I had experienced that uniqueness and wonder of my own baby.

Does every woman want a baby? No, I don’t think so. But I think there is something in all women that nurtures. God has made us to mother, whether it’s to babies or to those around us. Maybe the “baby” isn’t a small bundle of diapers and feedings and waking, but rather a troubled teen or a friend in need or a stranger.

I was also intrigued by Megan’s and Scott’s friendship. There was a truth to it, a resonance of male-and-female that seemed to being laying groundwork. Maybe it’s that I married my best friend and that I still think that’s some of the best advice ever: be friends before you’re married. Marry your best friend, indeed.

Maybe it’s that I have always had brothers and male friends, even now. I appreciate men for the otherness they bring to the table, for the different point of view, for the way God made them complementary to women.

Or maybe I just like how Scott and Megan are friends. It feels true to me.

And finally, Megan makes a comment that I couldn’t help but highlight: “It [sex]always means something.”

That statement is so profoundly true and so deceptively simple. Sex is more than an act, and Megan acknowledges it. Scott doesn’t seem to really get that, but we see a seed planted here, an idea that will play out throughout the rest of the book.

To Ponder, Reflect, and Discuss:

  1. Maybe not every woman wants a baby, but there is something about babies that seems to resonate with women, even if they’re not baby people. How do you feel about Megan’s comment about every woman wanting a baby?
  2. How does friendship play an important role in your life? How do your friends support you and help you?
  3. What about Scott and Megan’s friendship most struck you? How do you relate — or not — to the way they interact?
  4. How do you live the reality of “sex always means something”? What does that look like in your life?

Feel free to comment on your own thoughts from this week’s reading, your impressions and reflections, and/or your answers to these questions.

Next week, we’ll cover Chapters 3-6. For the complete reading schedule and information about our Book Club, visit the Accidental Marriage Book Club page.

Copyright 2014 Sarah Reinhard

Share.

About Author

12 Comments

  1. That friendship with your spouse thing is critical. After almost 29 years of marriage, I can testify to changes in our relationship over time. But one thing remains consistent: my husband is my best friend. Do we have days where it’s not all wine and roses? For sure. But it’s such a blessing to have intimacy with the one who loves you unconditionally always. These early chapters of the book point in a way to what’s to come. I look forward to breaking this one open with our readers.

    • Love these comments, Lisa. As the child of divorces, I can say that friendship is something that was definitely lacking in the failed marriages I’ve witnessed. (It’s not the only thing, but definitely a factor, I think.)

      And there is a lot to break open in this book, I agree!

  2. I do believe that God has made women to mother. I see that with my friends who never married and had children. I see it with the younger girls who i work with that are not mothers yet. As I read the chapters through I asked myself, “Does Megan truly want to be a mother at this time in her life?” I felt that she was just agreeing to it to appease Diane. Although I like Megan and Scott’s relationship, I wonder if a female friend would have asked her or pointed this out to Megan.

    • Interesting perspective Jeannine. I have to say that (sadly) at the time I was pregnant with my first, I had no deep desire to be a mother. It wasn’t until my first was born that the motherly instincts kicked in.

      I’m glad that you’re reading with us!

    • You know, Jeannie, I almost get the impression that Megan doesn’t HAVE any girlfriends that way…she has Diane, but that’s “girlfriend/love interest” not “friend who will set you straight” kind of thing.

      And Scott is a guy, true again. He accepts that she wants it, and that that’s good enough. interesting thought process here to chew on!!!

    • I totally agree that Megan is trying to have a baby to make Diane happy. I wonder if she thinks it will help the relationship, which I think can happen in many different situations.

  3. I completely agree that friendship is a key to successful marriage. That has definitely been important during the hard or stressful times in my marriage when the “in love” has not been strong – the friendship remains. When I was pregnant the first time I was extremely excited and thought I would be naturally great at all the nurturing. The truth was that I wasn’t. I had a hard time adjusting to being a mom the first time around, so now when I read Megan’s hesitation to be a mother despite that internal pull she claims every woman has to be a mother, I really identify with that!

  4. I find it interesting that commenters are wondering about Megan’s comment about every woman wanting a baby. Could this just be a naive Megan projecting her assumptions onto all women? Notice that the more world-experienced Scott wonders (though he doesn’t say) whether that perception was accurate.

    One thing I was wondering: has anyone noticed the dreams? The first chapter opens, and the second chapter closes, with Scott having very vivid dreams. These both have meaning, but I don’t want to pretend I know what the meanings are (though I have thoughts). Notice that both dreams have to do with the house with the rice paper walls – what do you think that symbolizes? What might be the symbolism of the flowers painted on the walls, particularly when juxtaposed against the apple blossoms in the first dream? Why might Scott have had the second dream when he did, and what might it forebode?

  5. I have been married for over 55years to my childhood sweetheart. I’ve known my husband just about all my life and we were married very young by todays standard. My husband is a professional and I never completed college, my only interest was being a wife and mother. Over the years I have observed many women who wished to remain childless and in our young years when we were tired and running car pools and trying to make ends meet, all the things that go into making a family, they were well groomed and living the good life. Now I see these same women childless and rather sad while we are visiting with children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren. Life is about choices . Needless to say my husband is my best friend and always supportive, but as a woman I need my women friends There is nothing like sitting down having a heart to heart talk with another woman

  6. In a society where women are raised to be self-centered and where womanhood and motherhood is not valued and where babies are seen as a detriment to a womens’ lives, I don’t believe that all women want to have babies. However, I do believe that all woman were made to mother by God’s design and that mothering is good for a woman. It makes her less self-centered and makes her grow in all the virtues.

  7. i agree that sex always means something because we express ourselves through our body. The conjugal act within Christian marriage is one of life’s great mysteries. My intention regarding sex in my marriage is that it be free, total, faithful and fruitful. Before I understood these concepts there was a whole lot of confusion. As Scott and Megan are living a life of chaos in their relationships, I recognize how the community around me can affect my decisions and lifestyle. My self-perception effects how I treat others and relate to them. Understanding the right order of things brings me clarity and peace.

Leave A Reply

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.