Stop Holding On and Just Be Held


Copyright 2015 Courtney Vallejo. All rights reserved.

Have you ever had a time in your spiritual journey where a topic or thought comes up about God and then suddenly every day there seems to be some sort of mention about it, whether in Scripture or a conversation with a friend, or even in a song on the radio?

For me, the concept of a loving God who sees us as His masterpiece and simply cherishes us, has been on my heart. It’s not an easy concept for me as I’m a very action/consequence person. If you mess up, there will be a consequence and people may hold a grudge. I find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that God just loves. I do understand that God can be whatever He is, regardless of what I think He is. That while I sometimes associate the human response of disappointment, with Him, I know factually, that that isn’t true. While we as humans have the struggle of being disappointed in people and situations, I know that God loves us regardless.

As I’ve been pondering the idea of a loving father, who just adores us, God has given me a variety of ways to see it and be reminded of it. I got in the car yesterday after a women’s group that of course was about the topic, and I started singing a song when I got in the car. I hadn’t been listening to the radio in awhile so I actually caught myself singing and found it strange. I wondered where the song had come from, so I sang the line again, “and just be held.” Wow, what a concept huh, so then I got curious and wondered why was I singing this song, what was the Lord showing me something? I tried to remember the rest of the song, and I could only remember the part before it, “Stop holding on and just be held.” At first I thought this was a weird concept, why would I stop holding on? I had found myself recently clinging to God and what I had heard in my women’s group that night reminded me that while I’ve been clinging to Him in the hopes of being close to Him and relying on Him, perhaps I was living in a state of petition. My thoughts were constantly of prayers to get me out of each situation, and or fix stuff quickly. Our leader reminded us that we can also live in a time of constant thanksgiving, and how that might create in us more of a state of joy. She brought up the idea that our state of prayer life can show perhaps where we are in our attitude for life. As I pondered on the song more and wondered why it would be telling us to stop holding on, I realized that the answer came in the next line, “And just be held.” I admit I was a little taken aback in my car and I realized that in my “holding on” I had been trying to control things. If I just took a second to let go and let the Lord just hold me, I could relax in His love. Holding on and clinging take so much effort, but resting in someone’s arms can soothing, relaxing and rejuvenating.

I then pondered on visions of my son. The night before all this happened, he was having a really rough afternoon full of anxiety and as he got ready for bed I told my husband how he was struggling and I thought bedtime would be hard since he had so much pent up energy. My husband went in his room and just picked him up and held him. I could visually see my son’s body relax and he just fall against my husband’s chest. It was an image that stuck with me and I saw the soothing power of touch. Even though my son is older, I thought maybe this would be a night to sit with him in the rocking chair and again I found myself just holding him and he quickly relaxed and started to fall asleep. He just needed to be held. And so I find myself back at the song lyrics, “Stop holding on and just be held.” My challenge for myself is to try a new season, where instead of trying to control things even by the effort of clinging on to the Lord. I realize that I cling as a way to stay close, fearful that if I let go I’ll slip away, but I’m realizing that in being held, I’m not letting go of Him, but instead resting with Him and being held by Him. Maybe next I’ll learn to let Him take care for me, love me and be in control of my life. Knowing He has me, means I can relax in my father’s arms, as my son relaxed in my husband’s. “Stop holding on and just be held, just be held. just be held.”

Copyright 2015 Courtney Vallejo.
Photo copyright 2015 Courtney Vallejo. All rights reserved.


About Author

Courtney Vallejo is a Catholic wife and mother who lives in California. She and her husband are raising and homeschooling, their three adopted children. She is the cofounder of, whose mission is to inspire, encourage and reclaim joy in motherhood. She holds a Master's degree in Film Production and a California Multiple Subject Teaching Credential. She also writes for her own blog,


  1. I’m gobsmacked. I needed to hear this. Thank you for figuring this out and and sharing it in actual words and wisdom. Sometimes you just need a hug without hugging back, just stand there, limp, and let yourself be hugged. How many times have I held my own boys and felt them go limp in my arms, dead heavy weight, as they relaxed. Now they’re in college but when they come home they’re all, “Mom, will you scratch my back? Mom, will you rub my feet?” The human touch is VERY healing. They each will heave an unconscious sigh and get goose bumps. That’s how I know it’s working. If I lay on the grass and look at the sky, I can feel the energy of a hug from God. Virtual hugs to you! God Bless You!

    • Thank you so much for sharing about your grown up boys 🙂 The power of touch is so crazy powerful huh! I actually just heard a radio program that even studied animals from a shelter who were divided into 2 groups, one being played with and the other wasn’t. The study said the played with group was a lot better behaved and was even healthier later down the road. If touch and interaction affects animals, how much does it affect humans!

      Here’s to hoping that my kids will come visit from college and still want to snuggle! May God bless you!

  2. Hi Courtney,
    It is no accident I am reading your article today. I was drawn in by the title because I know I have been holding on tight lately and not letting myself be held for sure! Thank you for reminding me in such a beautiful way that the Lord speaks to us all the time. We just have to be listening to hear. The song is amazing too!

  3. Hi Courtney,
    I have to comment again, because I listened to our Lord as you listened. I paid attention to the prodding of the Holy Spirit. I shared your article with the RCIA group this evening at my church. I knew the Holy Spirit was leading me through your article and I listened just like you. I showed the group your picture of your husband holding your son. I began my talk and I ending my talk with that picture. As I spoke on the topic of Prayer and ways to pray, the theme brought to me through you was ” trust God and let yourself be held!” Thank you for saying YES and listening to the Holy Spirit and listening to what God wanted to say to you, and passing it on! We never know where the Holy Spirit wants to share our sharing. I know sometimes it is hard to write it all down, and we wonder if anyone really reads our praise and thanksgiving. May we be assured that if we are faithful to our call, the Lord will use our efforts for His glory! Thanks again Courtney and praise always to our Lord Jesus Christ!

    • Oh my Celeste! So I saw your comment earlier and didn’t get to respond so when I logged on to respond I saw the second post. I am so honored that you would share the post with your RCIA team. I am a convert to the faith and finally after years, getting to serve on our Parish’s RCIA team, so it means so much that you would share with that group in particular. Praise God for your work with RCIA and for nurturing the faith of those individuals! May God show us all how to let go and just let Him hold us. (If I wasn’t so darn controlling 🙂

  4. I love that song too! The part that convicts me is “your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place”. I love it when God transforms our point of view into His own. May God continue to bless you on your faith journey.

    • Hello Sharon!
      Isn’t that song just amazing! And that line… How often we forget that God is in control and He knows what we need and what’s best for us. I love how the word falling is used twice but first with such chaos and sadness attached and secondly with such hope and excitement. May we continue to see things through His eyes 🙂

  5. I need a LIKE button for these posts! My husband and I share a morning hug before work and an evening hug when he comes home. Usually we say, Want a Hug? or Have we hugged yet? but after I told him this story, he says, Wanna just be held? I like the song, too. Blessings on y’all’s day.

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